The Loss Arc
by Demeter1
Summary: Losing is something essential in life. Loss can be something that even the hardest soul or the gentlest heart cannot bear.
1. Losing to Relena Darlian

Title: "Losing to Relena Darlian"  
Author: Demeter  
  
Warning: Yaoi. To all the people who think yaoi's bad (for a lack of a better word), you're entitled to your opinion, but please do not infringe on mine. The same with the people who are currently wearing "Kill Relena!" T-shirts around. That is your opinion, so I respect that. However, if you wish to flame me please don't bother. It'll be met with laughs and derision. (Note the word FLAME. If you want to offer me constructive criticism, please go right ahead. I need help with my writing anyway! ^_^)  
  
Disclaimer: All rights and privileges to Shin Kidousenki Gundam Wing are trademarks and property of Sunrise, Bandai, Sotsu Agency, and associated parties. All the characters belong to them, and all stories, relationships, ideas are fiction. They are not related to the original plot. The story, the relationships and original characters within the fic are copyright of the author Demeter.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
He caught me unaware.   
  
Those brilliant, beautiful, free, soul-sucking eyes of his.  
  
I don't care about such things. Didn't I resist cerulean blue, innocent, limpid pools on that beach? That day when I met her? Didn't I resist? Didn't I try to kill her? She would not have lived if he had not stopped me in the middle of my execution.   
  
He shouldn't have.  
  
But he did.  
  
Now I'm sitting in a hardwood chair, waiting for the happy couple to make their way up the aisle. Damn, they look so happy. God, I hate that annoying little shriek of hers. What a whiny, obsessive psycho. All she did was stalk me, and now she's getting married to HIM.   
  
I should be the one exchanging the rings with him.  
  
I should be the one walking down that aisle.  
  
Damn, I'm being too much of a sentimentalist.  
  
I should shoot her right now. See her go down in a spray of blood. Watch her mouth fall open in terror, before I give the final shot. I want to see his eyes dilate with horror, catching her as she descends. I want to hear that damn wedding music screech to a halt. Then they'll all know. They'll all know it was his fault this happened.  
  
Oh, what a delicious image. Her dying.  
  
I need her to die.  
  
If she died he would be mine, all mine.   
  
Mine to hold.  
  
Mine.  
  
"Heero?" Oh, she's talking again.   
  
Stop talking to me.   
  
"Heero, are you all right?" She sounds so concerned. Damn her. If she was so concerned, she should have known I hated her. She fucked up every single chance I had with him. Ruined any ways I could have used to win him over.   
  
He's looking at me. This is all her fault. He thinks I'm in love with that stalking psycho. What an idiotic idea. I hate her guts. I hate her being. I hate her for taking him away. He thinks I'm still in love with her. He's so suspicious. Damn. I never should have gone to Libra. Then I wouldn't have met her, and have to pretend to save her. If only I had left her on there to die.  
  
"Hey man! Gotta congratulate me! You're the best man after all!"   
  
"Congratulations Duo."  
  
"Man, even at a wedding you're so cold!" He threw his hands into the air. "Maybe jousan and me should take you to Disneyland or something."  
  
"Still calling her jousan, Duo?"  
  
It's that girl named Hilde. Didn't she like him too?  
  
"Oi, Hilde babe!" He's hugging her. She deserves to die.  
  
"Duo, Relena's your wife now. You shouldn't call her jousan anymore."  
  
"Too much of a habit. Anyways, she doesn't mind, do you?" His puppy-dog eyes look so beautiful. But they're not directed at me. They're directed at HER.   
  
"I've listened to you call me that already so many times, darling. I like the title." Darling? What a sickening pet name. What an overbearing, self-righteous bitch  
.  
Duo turned to me, and I can see his violet eyes. They don't know anything but Relena right now. I hate those eyes of his. I hate that color. I want to rip those eyeballs from their sockets right now, for causing me this pain.  
  
His expression changes. Pulling me aside, he says, "Oi, Heero. You ain't mad I married jousan, are you? 'Cause if you are, you better tell me now. I hate for ya to go busting our honeymoon night." He suddenly grinned. I wanted that grin once. Now all I can do is hate that curve of luscious lips.   
  
"I don't care." Yeah, I really don't care.  
  
"That's great! Hey, there's Q-man! Gotta go! See you at the reception."  
  
He's walking toward her. He's taking those last few steps, those last few. After he reaches those swan-like arms of hers, I've lost him. I'll lose him if he takes those last few, bounding steps...  
  
*BANG*  
  
That scream, that beautiful scream.  
  
Oh, I love hearing that shrill shriek of terror from Relena's voice.   
  
This is going to be good.   
  
"Heero!"  
  
I feel her drop next to me. She's so concerned about me. Tears are flooding those blue eyes of hers. Those deceiving blue eyes of hers that mock me with the fact that she are the one marrying him. I hate those eyes. She probably thinks I killed myself for her. If I did, we would have been damned for loving that self-righteous, uppity, psychotic bitch.   
  
Hn.  
  
"Heero.. God.. Heero...Why in the hell?"  
  
He's looking at me with those gorgeous violet eyes of his. Now his eyes only encompass me. Only me. Not her. Not her at all. I wish I had the strength to cackle with glee at her. I wish I had enough strength in my arm to splatter the blood onto her pristine image. Heh. That would make her keel in terror.  
  
Heh heh heh.  
  
"Relena." I can blabber her name all I want. From this point on, he'll only think of me.   
  
She scoots toward me, her hands nearly scrabbling to reach me. She's holding my hand to her face, tearfully asking me what I needed. I must admit, she is so pretty, even mussed up and covered with blood.   
  
"Duo... he's good..."  
  
She nods vigorously. There are tears glinting in her eyes and rolling down her cheeks. She grabs one of Duo's hands and puts it into mine.  
  
Huh?  
  
There's something in her eyes as she all but shoves Duo to me. Her voice chokes as she says, "I know Heero. I know Heero. You love Duo. I knew all along."  
  
So she isn't as blind as I thought.   
  
Duo has the look of someone who's punched him in the stomach. I should know.   
  
I did punch him once after all.   
  
He bends over me and looks right into my eyes. He asks, his voice hoarse. "Is that true? Heero, man, is Relena telling the truth?"  
  
All I need to do is look at him.   
  
He falls backward.  
  
"No way. No fucking way. You love Jousan. You always have. There's no fucking way you could have fallen in love with street rat like me. No FUCKING way."  
  
What?  
  
He suddenly hauls me halfway up, his face strained and gray. Quatre takes a step toward him, warning him. I don't care if he wrung all the blood from my body. I was close to him. So very close.   
  
"You fucking, sick bastard. You didn't have shit for brains to tell me before I decided to marry Jousan? You didn't have the peas for brains to tell me BEFORE I fell in love with Relena?! You didn't have the nerve to tell me when I was fucking in love with you?"  
  
Oh man.  
  
I grab him, even as weak as I am, and hold him one inch from my face. "You really loved me?"  
  
"You fucking idiot! It takes you five years to figure that out?"  
  
I can feel my face break into a wide smile. I can feel everyone nearly faint in fright at the never-before-seen grin on my face. That's because I never had anything to smile before for. All I could was smirk or scowl friendly.   
  
Because I had no one to smile at.   
  
He suddenly engulfs me in a warm stranglehold. "Damn you for not telling me until now."  
  
His arms are so... fucking... warm...   
  
Ah, bliss.  
  
I return the iron hug. I wish there was a room nearby.   
  
A private room.  
  
I think I hear Trowa's firm voice in this background of haze.   
  
Really smooth.  
  
Saying something.   
  
"Duo, Heero, stop this."  
  
What?  
  
Duo breaks himself from my arms. I turn my glare onto Trowa and I wish I had my gun with me. Even as my body heals that blasted wound I caused upon myself, I wish the hole was in him right now instead of me.   
  
He returns my glare steadily, only flickering one moss-green eye toward someone behind us.  
  
Fuck.  
  
Her.  
  
Duo turns in a rush, his beautiful, and delicious braid flinging.  
  
Toward her.  
  
"Lena.."  
  
Relena was standing there, in her virginal white dress, a bodice that clung to her body, leaving little to the imagination. The dress flared below her waist, in the princess-style she seemed so fond of. Her hair flowed down her back, an ambrosial braid on each side of her face. Not even the heaviest make-up would have hid the paleness of her face or the white lines around her mouth.   
  
At least she wasn't wearing any of that infernal color she called, "pink".   
  
Duo took one step toward her.   
  
I immediately latched onto one arm of his.  
  
I didn't care of the whole world hated me.   
  
All I wanted was him.  
  
I saw him glance at me, his violet eyes troubled. I knew it. He wanted ME. But his damn devotion complex won't let him leave that obsessive freak. He promised to have and behold her. His fucking pride won't let him divorce her.  
  
I should have shot her when I had the chance.  
  
She breathed in sharply when she saw me take his arm. I knew it. She was going to take everything from me again. Not this time. Not fucking this time. No way I'm letting her take my sanity away again. No way I'm letting her worm herself into my life. Duo was MINE.  
  
Relena was still holding the bouquet of white gardenias, mixed with lilies and roses. They were no wilting from the pressure she was applying to the bouquet, and the reddish-brown stains of my blood was now dotting the whiteness like a macabre dance of viscous liquid.  
  
"I knew this would happen. I knew this would happen someday." Her voice was dull.  
  
Did I care?  
  
No.  
  
Duo almost twitched from my grasp. His eyes were desperate with... something. Damn friendship complex. Shouldn't have let him stop me from killing her.   
  
"The day I said yes, I knew this would happen some day." She paused, lifting that head of hers, looking around the room filled with friends. Lucky her. She decided not to invite the media. Otherwise she would have been absolutely humiliated.  
  
Too bad.  
  
She looked at everyone, her blue eyes devoid of any particular emotion.   
  
"I just didn't think it would happen on my wedding day."   
  
Quatre jumped up. I knew he wanted to say all those words that would ruin me. I shot him a glare. He faltered, almost stepping back.   
  
Relena stopped, her face twitching, her eyes falling gray with despair.  
  
"Not on my wedding day." She looked at the flowers in her hands, brushed silk-enclosed fingers over the bloodstains on her dress, before looking at up. Her voice was eerie, almost insane with the calmness. Taking her bouquet, she walked toward the front of the church, everyone parting automatically for her. She stopped, and then almost as if a scene in a movie, she turned slightly and tossed the flowers up into a perfect arc.  
  
And time seemed to slow as the flowers descended through the air and landed right into my hands.  
  
I dropped them almost automatically.  
  
She spoke without turning.   
  
"My wedding day."  
  
Relena took a few more steps.  
  
"Congratulations to the new bride."  
  
And she stepped out.   
  
Duo jumped after her.  
  
I nearly plastered myself to him. No way I'm letting him take one step after that clingy bitch.  
  
For the first time, he shook me off, almost violently. "Leggo! Heero! LEGGO! I need to go after Relena!"  
  
"If you go after her, you won't find me here anymore."  
  
He stilled under that threat. I knew that would stop him. He loved me too much to let me go. Of course he would pick me over that obsessive, psychotic, stalking, neurotic, self-obsessed, spoiled freak bitch!   
  
"Then I won't see you again."  
  
Huh?  
  
"What?"  
  
"I said I DID love you Heero." He took my hands off his shoulder, and threw them away.  
  
As thought they were garbage!  
  
"I love Jousan more. She was here when you weren't. She was here when I walked through darkness. I love her. I want her. I need her. She needs me." He pauses. "You never needed me Heero."  
  
He then ran out of the church, leaving me with the bouquet of flowers like a misbegotten bride.  
  
A bouquet of flowers already used by someone else.  
  
I never thought MY wedding would end with me left hanging at the altar.  
  
"Guess you lose this time, eh, Yuy?"  
  
I turn and I grab for Wufei's neck, but he neatly avoids me and Quatre tries to calm me down.  
  
I am beyond calming.  
  
Relena, Duo belongs to me.   
  
Whether you like it or not.  
  


~*~ FINIS ~*~  


  
I know this may have seemed like a total annihilation of Heero's character. But I've been in a sort of stressed out mood. So if everyone would bear with me for a few paragraphs, I'll explain my words.  
  
I wrote horrible adjectives of Relena from Heero's mind. For all those devout Relena-supporters out there, most of you will notice that those are the words that are most often used by anti-Relena fans to rag on her. Those are the words that come out of Heero and Duo's mouths in some fanfics that exist as the reason they hate her.  
  
Well, this is a bit like counterstrike.  
  
Yes, Heero talks of Relena still.  
  
But notice the switch. If you weren't paying attention to the "he" and "she" pronouns, for all those who write those fics with Relena as a psychopath, one can notice that HEERO is the one hanging onto Duo's arms. HE'S the one being the psychotic, obsessive, stalking one.  
  
And he doesn't KNOW.  
  
He keeps thinking RELENA is the one.  
  
Now, if the fics with Relena as the one in Heero's place, then doesn't it eerily look like a Relena introspective from a anti-Relena POV?  
  
Interesting, ne?  
  
This was brought on by severe moodiness about Relena/Duo/Heero. I can't seem to get this triangle out of my head. I wish I could write a threesome, but writing twosomes are already hard enough. *bangs head on computer* I'm trying to write a lemon between Sally and Wufei.  
  
TRYING.  
  
Thank you for reading!  
  
Demeter  
  



	2. Losing to Heero Yuy

Title: "Losing to Heero Yuy"  
Author: Demeter  
  
Warning: Yaoi. To all the people who think yaoi's bad (for a lack of a better word), you're entitled to your opinion, but please do not infringe on mine. The same with the people who are currently wearing "Kill Relena!" T-shirts around. That is your opinion, so I respect that. However, if you wish to flame me please don't bother. It'll be met with laughs and derision. (Note the word FLAME. If you want to offer me constructive criticism, please go right ahead. I need help with my writing anyway! ^_^)  
  
Disclaimer: All rights and privileges to Shin Kidousenki Gundam Wing are trademarks and property of Sunrise, Bandai, Sotsu Agency, and associated parties. All the characters belong to them, and all stories, relationships, ideas are fiction. They are not related to the original plot. The story, the relationships and original characters within the fic are copyright of the author Demeter.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
I don't recall much now.   
  
All those memories of Maxwell church seem hazy in my mind. I try to pull them back, try to tug on the fragile strings to bring them back to me.   
  
But for some reason, Lady Past has refused to allow me access anymore.  
  
In some ways I am sorrowful that I cannot see Solo or Father Maxwell or Sister Helen anymore.  
  
In others, I am grateful I can no longer feel the flames lick at my face.  
  
The fire, the death, everything I was preparing to let go, today, the day I would marry someone of my own. Someone who would look at me with love and adoration. Someone who would love me for being me. Not Duo Maxwell, the persona I had adopted over the war.  
  
Not the maniac who laughed all the time.  
  
Not the cheeky-grinned elf who everyone supposed me to be.  
  
And especially not the tool all those fucking pilots used me as. A bouncy tool. Need a high? Go to Duo for an irritating comment. Need a laugh? Let's ask Duo for one of his many jokes. None of them tried to see beyond the thin veneer of insanity that constantly masked me.   
  
Underneath was someone who cried for a person to take the whole package.  
  
Then an uppity little princess appeared.   
  
And I mean uppity. She was always whining for Heero this, and Heero that.   
  
I despised her. She was taking Heero from me. Quatre liked her. Hell knows why, but he liked her. Trowa did too. Again, hell knows why. Wufei, in his common manner, told her exactly what he thought of her.   
  
Fuck, I thought for sure that would discourage her from chasing us half-way across the blasted planet.   
  
She didn't.  
  
As we went from place to place, she followed. With almost a dogged perseverance. Wherever Heero was, she would be. Whenever we had a mission, she would unfailing pop up to discourage us from taking the mission or killing more people.   
  
I started watching her.   
  
Watching every step that she took. I convinced myself it was just for Heero. That I just wanted to keep her blood-thirsty hands off my Heero.   
  
And then that day happened.  
  
The day when we all came back with our hands bloodied, in more ways than one.   
  
We were quiet, to the point of absolute silence. Even Quatre could not say anything comforting. All he could do was hug Trowa, sitting there like some damned soul.   
  
Innocent Quatre.   
  
I remember that all too clearly.   
  
Then she showed up. All pretty in pink. Decked in pearls and the heady scent of strawberries. I remember clenching my fists and readying myself to launch myself at her. All she did was look at us silently. Then, as if in a dream, she took off her coat and started making coffee and tea. Really, sometimes I insist it was just a dream.   
  
If it was just a dream then I wouldn't need to be surprised.  
  
The coffee burned my fingers.  
  
And she started humming and singing below her breath. I don't quite remember what the song was about, but the melody seared itself inside me. For some reason, I had always imagined her voice as shrill, shrieky, scratchy, and all together, annoying.  
  
It was clear soprano. The tune was haunting and surpassed barriers. Whatever it was, I can no longer see, but the music stays in my ears. Quatre and Trowa fell asleep almost immediately. Wufei drifted off like a child, mumbling beneath his breath about women. Heero, surprisingly, succumbed to the sweet melody next.  
  
I couldn't sleep. I could still see the dried blood staining my fingernails.   
  
She started wiping my fingernails, giving me a manicure. Her soothing hum grew softer and after a while, I remember drifting off to her voice softly telling me to go to sleep.   
  
All I can remember after that was the soft feel of a blanket being draped over me.   
  
When we woke up, she was still there.   
  
Smiling at us.   
  
Us who had killed.  
  
The little dove of pacifism smiled upon murderers.   
  
Relena brought us soup and then, giving us all kisses on the cheeks, she left quietly.   
  
I think my heart was lost when she stayed for us.   
  
Years later, when I asked her to marry me, that brilliant smile of hers nearly knocked me over. I could ask for her hand so easily. I had always thought myself to fucked up for commitment. I guess because she never was repulsed by any part of me. She never encouraged me to be hyper and bouncy. Relena invited me to be dark, morose, and needy. She and I were alike. Always giving, never taking. I loved her patience through my period of mourning over Heero. Though she must have hurt just as much when that bastard left, all she thought of was me, trying to help me stand again.   
  
But, she allowed me to wallow first in sadness.   
  
She knew forcing me to stand was the worst thing someone could have done.   
  
I had thought marrying Relena would keep the demons away. Marrying 'Lena would have fucked up any bad dreams that plagued me. Keeping and cherishing her as my own would make me whole again.  
  
And of course, once again, Heero Yuy messed that up.   
  
Where in the hell was 'Lena?  
  
Fuck. This was not supposed to happen. Not on our wedding day. All those memories of her rushing through my head only intensified the need to find her.   
  
Not on our wedding day.   
  
Goddamn Heero for fucking this up. I can't believe he had the guts to even say what he said.   
  
'If you go after her, you won't find me here anymore.'  
  
Fuck him.  
  
I can't believe those words came out of his mouth. Relena was my WIFE for chrissakes. I can't just abandon her because he suddenly decided he did have a libido and needed me to soothe it.   
  
Fucking asshole.  
  
He's gotta be kidding. Relena wanted to marry me, the legendary street rat from the slums. She was willing to sacrifice everything to marry me. Me. Not him. She accepted me for me. This is totally screwed up. He always showed affection toward her, never me. Where in the hell did this sudden lust come in?  
  
On my wedding day.  
  
On 'Lena's wedding day.  
  
Fuck. Where was she?  
  
Relena needs me.  
  
She needs me like I need her at this fucking second.   
  
And now, because of his stupid-ass mistakes, I have to pay for this. I can't handle this. I can't live without her. If I lose her, I'll die. Fuck, I swear to Jesus I'll die if I lose her.   
  
I hate you Heero Yuy.  
  
Not the in-the-heat-of-the-moment hate. But real, fucking hate. You stole two from me. Two innocent souls from me. You took two people who kept me from going on a killing rampage. Two who kept me from self-destructing like you.  
  
Myself and Relena.  
  
You weren't content with Relena? Had to come for me too?   
  
Why couldn't you have loved jousan?  
  
And left me in blissful ignorance?  
  
I would have figured to the end that you loved 'Lena, not me.   
  
And I wouldn't be stuck here running in the streets, in my damn suit, looking for my wife.   
  
Shit, this just messes up my whole life.   
  
"Lena, where in the hell are you."   
  
Come on, please come out.   
  
"Duo, it's not going to help Relena for you to go out like this."  
  
Hilde.  
  
"I gotta find her. Hilde, she's somewhere out there, crying her heart out, because suicidal spandex boy decides he finally got his head clear of the water."  
  
"You did confess your own love."  
  
"It ain't my fault."  
  
"I know it isn't. I'm not blaming you."  
  
I swung around. I wanted to hit someone. Hit someone badly. I tossed my fist out. Hilde caught it easily and twisted my arm like some big school yard bully. I had forgotten how strong she was. Too strong for me.   
  
"Duo, you can't do this."  
  
Relena, where was she? I needed her. I needed her.  
  
"Relena will be back. She isn't the type to break so easily."  
  
That broke me.   
  
I whirled on her. "You have no idea what 'Lena's like. She's more fragile than any of us, even uni-bang Trowa. Just because she puts up a facade doesn't mean she's made of ice and stone. Hildey, all you were seeing was a mask. A well-made one, but a icy, stony, fucking mask."  
  
Hilde regarded me quietly, her dark eyes compassionate. "Quatre's sent out the Maguanacs to search for her. You needn't worry over her too much. We'll find her."  
  
I yanked myself away.   
  
Hilde never did understand me.   
  
"I don't care if they have the entire Preventer force looking for her. I'm finding 'Lena. She's my wife."  
  
With that, I ran off, heedless of the loud cry from Hilde. I didn't look back, I couldn't afford to look back. Not to her. Not to that church. Not to Heero Yuy, the soldier from hell who was sent to torment me from heaven.   
  
I remember 'Lena.   
  
That's all I can remember now.   
  
Even when Heero occupied my mind, she was always there, her image always seemed to mock me gently, telling me of things I would never understand in a million years.   
  
Things that I would never comprehend in my lifetime.   
  
Whenever she was there chasing Heero, my eyes unknowingly would follow her figure, regardless of the envy and jealousy that was constantly welling up in my throat at seeing her with Heero, and him not rebuffing her.  
  
Regardless to say, I was a fucked-up individual for a couple of years.  
  
I remember those days when Heero had left both of us, the days where she had walked around with that stiff half-smile on her lips, trying to hide disappointment and pain. I remember watching those lips of yours pale whenever anyone mentioned him. I remember falling apart and having you pull me together.  
  
I remember gnawing jealousy that seemed to grow every second.   
  
And I remember realizing why I was so fucking jealous.   
  
'Lena, don't you have more faith in me than that?  
  
I was nearly crushed by jealousy, seeing you talk to Heero at the wedding, and now, I'm no longer sure whether I was jealous OF you or FOR you. Why, 'Lena? Why in the hell did you run?   
  
God in hell. Why did you not tell me that Heero loved me.  
  
You could have been spared if you had just fucking told me everything that was hidden between us.  
  
A wife and a husband shouldn't hide secrets.  
  
I can't allow this to happen 'Lena.  
  
Not again.  
  
Not on our wedding day.  
  
I'm going to find you.  
  
Whether you want to be found or not.   
  


~*~ FINIS ~*~  
~*~ Part Two of Three ~*~  


  
Another interesting part to the arc. *sigh* I know Duo's part feels slightly fragmented, but that's the way it's supposed to be. Duo is emotionally decimated at the moment. For some reason, THIS Duo was hard to write for.   
  
Duo is an incredibly complex character, regardless of his outer appearance of idiocy. ~_^ No matter how "perfect" Heero is, he's more of a two or three faceted character. There are many masks that Duo wears, as does Relena.   
  
The little scene with Relena was hard, harder than I thought. I was trying to be original in the way Relena could have saved those pilots from self-destructing then and there. And I remembered words from my Creative Writing teacher. "Simple is Best".   
  
And it was. Relena didn't need to go into some impassioned speech about pacifism. She didn't need to stress that it wasn't there fault. What she need to do was to be there. To be there for them. To sing like a mother. None of them had mothers. Not Quatre. Not Duo. Not Wufei, Not Trowa. Not Heero. There are several basic instincts in women.   
  
Motherly is one the most major ones. Generally (and I'm being very general), women do not lack this instinct. Relena has been smothered by "love" all her life. The only thing she can give that the pilots would ever need would be "love". They don't need money, wealth, standing, position, or any of the things other men around her wanted. All they craved was a bit of love.   
  
Thus, this makes all the pilots, even Duo, introverted people. Relena was a basic extroverted personality. She was genuine in her affections, if not her love. Though I doubt she ever loved Heero Yuy (as much a fan I am of the couple), I feel she would love all the pilots as a mother hen loves her chicks. As a lioness is protective of her cubs. As a doe (remember Bambi) nourishes life to her fawn.   
  
Relena does this and more.   
  
For all the pilots, Relena is a relief. However, what Relena needs is NOT a person like Heero Yuy. She is someone who would crave constant affection and open love. I doubt a marriage between the two would have lasted long (though I adore lemons between them. I adore stories about them. I just don't really think they would actually get together in real life. But hey. This is fanfiction. No biggie)  
  
Duo, however, would be someone who would laugh, cry, gobble, snarf, scowl and scorn with her. He has a wide range of emotions like her. He would protect her, yet allow her to feel free, because his own personality would not allow her to be smothered by too many guards or meetings. Heero would never, with his manner, be able to drop everything he was doing just to take her for a random walk in the park.  
  
But Duo would.   
  
Thanks for reading!  
  
Demeter  



	3. Losing to Duo Maxwell

Title: "Losing to Duo Maxwell"  
Author: Demeter  
  
Warning: Yaoi. To all the people who think yaoi's bad (for the lack of a better word), you're entitled to your opinion, but please do not infringe on mine. The same with the people who are currently wearing "Kill Relena!" T-shirts around. That is your opinion, so I respect that. However, if you wish to flame me please don't bother. It'll be met with laughs and derision. (note the word FLAME. If you want to offer me constructive criticism, please go right ahead. I like those! ^_^)  
  
Disclaimer: All rights and privileges to Shin Kidousenki Gundam Wing are trademarks and property of Sunrise, Bandai, Sotsu Agency, and associated parties. All the characters belong to them, and all stories, relationships, ideas are fiction. They are not related to the original plot. The story, the relationships and original characters within the fic are copyright of the author Demeter.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
There was a time I would have balked at the idea of wearing a wedding gown.   
  
Of course, there was a time I would scoffed at someone telling me that I was the princess of Sank.   
  
I suppose it depends on perspective. Too all those who were at that damn wedding, I was the victim, I was the "poor, poor, Princess" who couldn't even keep a long-haired, beautifully braided, violet-eyed gorgeous hunk at her side.   
  
I don't blame him.  
  
Those Prussian blue eyes are what I term, "bedroom eyes".  
  
The kind of eyes that suck you in.  
  
The shade that would have been described in a cheesy, ten-cent romance novel as "drowning me in their blueness."  
  
The kind of eyes that make you want to push him onto the bed and fuck all night.  
  
Oh dear.  
  
Did I just think that?  
  
Must not think of such vulgar words.  
  
I...   
  
I want my mother.   
  
Sad, isn't it?   
  
Mother, strong, indomitable mother, the one who had survived the warand Marimeia, only to fall victim to the common flu and die. She, the one who promised me that she would be the one person to never leave me, left me within a year of my final victory on the battlefield.   
  
I would like to think that she was proud of me.   
  
Hopefully.   
  
Or maybe she would be writhing in shame for having a daughter who lost her husband, two minutes after she married him, to her ex-love. I think I would the only one who could ever have such a coup de tate.   
  
I don't have any idea what that means of course, since my French was atrocious in school.  
  
He was so beautiful.   
  
So very, very pretty.   
  
I guess that's a strange description of one of the most sought-after man I have ever met, but it's true. Almost every single girl I have ever met has fallen head-over-heels for him. Except Dorothy or Catherine or Sally of course. They had their own loves.   
  
Only Sally won.   
  
Random, isn't it, that I would suddenly want to bawl into the arms of the one person who WOULDN'T understand me?   
  
Dorothy would be displeased at this act of weakness on my part.   
  
Of course, she was rarely ever proud of me.   
  
Duo was so pretty.   
  
Those eyes, the color of fresh violets. He was the sweetest person I had ever met. Or at least I thought. I knew of his past, the whole Maxwell church. I knew that Duo wasn't even his real name. I knew a lot of things.   
  
I only thing I regret knowing was that Heero loved him.  
  
I wanted to abandon my pacifist ideals and kill him then and there. Slowly, tearing each inch of flesh slowly from his body. I dreamed of making him scream with pain. I wanted to see his gorgeous violet eyes convulse with retching.   
  
I still shudder thinking about those evil thoughts that seeped from me during the dark days.   
  
Everyone thought me the perfect little dove of peace.   
  
They never realized that there was a point when I would have gladly gouged his pretty eyes from his elfin-like face.  
  
I hated him so much for grasping the heart of the soldier.   
  
I wanted him to die for crushing the gates that I had thought I could only pass.   
  
A little bit everyday.   
  
I cannot believe this happened.  
  
On my wedding day.  
  
Of all the days these two guys decided they wanted love from each other, they had to pick my wedding day. Why couldn't they have done that BEFORE, or even after? At least I could have gotten the comfort of one night with Duo, or the comfort of knowing that I was saving myself from a loveless marriage.  
  
Yeah, right.  
  
Loveless? Duo loved me. I don't doubt that. Unfortunately, first loves are hard to forget.  
  
How does it go?  
  
_It takes a second to like someone.  
A minute to love someone  
But it takes a lifetime to forget someone._  
  
Quite fitting.   
  
I never quite forgot Heero. But, I suppose I realized that it was just infatuation at my tender age. There I was, all prim and prissy, never stepping out of the etiquette circle that encircled me with its iron arms. I never became anything more than "the spoiled brat of Darlian".   
  
And then, literally, he came rolling in.   
  
Of course, compared to the entrance Duo made, that was nothing.   
  
I only fixated on Heero though.  
  
Strange.  
  
I remember Duo calling me "Good looking". I remember wanting to laugh, because in my whole life, no one had ever called me that. They always called me good, or pretty, or sweet, or rich. But never, ever in the genial, affable, genuine way Duo did.  
  
Good looking.   
  
I liked those words.   
  
I think I started watching him after that.   
  
I suppose he thought I was chasing Heero. But I figured that if Heero liked Duo, then wherever Heero was, Duo was bound to be. And I used my little cover as "Stalker Relena" to chase them to my hearts content.   
  
I made so many enemies that way.  
  
Wufei.   
  
Heero.  
  
Maybe even Quatre or Trowa. Of course, behind that innocent mask and that silent mask, I never really understood what those two were feeling. Heero? He was simple to look into. Wufei? He was easy to the point of boring.   
  
They had no depth.   
  
But, ah, Duo did.  
  
He had more depth and feeling than all those added together.   
  
Of course, he was rather blind in abandoning me at the altar.   
  
Where have I heard that before?  
  
Oh yes, that little movie from a few hundred years ago. What was it called? Running Bride? Bride Runaway? Oh. Runaway Bride.   
  
Only, it's more of a Runaway BrideGROOM.  
  
I can't help but cry at that, no matter how strong I'm supposed to be.   
  
He loved me.   
  
I know he did.   
  
But why?  
  
Why?  
  
Why in the hell did he leave me?   
  
I can't believe Relena Darlian is weeping.   
  
But, I suppose that's to be expected.   
  
After all, I am running through the streets of L2 in my wedding gown. You don't see that everyday anyhow.   
  
"Relena!"  
  
Duo.  
  
I turn. There is nothing more. He came after me. He came after me.   
  
He chose to come after me.   
  
"Duo!"   
  
"Relena. Why'd you run off?"  
  
What? He asks why I ran off? Can a man get any more dense? I mean, he confessed his love for another guy two minutes after WE got married. In front of everyone to boot.   
  
I wonder if it was a guy thing.   
  
"I mean, 'Lena." His eyes are so very pretty in the light. "Don't you have more faith in me than that?"  
  
Faith.   
  
Why didn't I have faith in Duo.  
  
Why.  
  
"Because I have gone through too many losses to gain faith."  
  
Duo gripped my arms before crushing me to him. He was so warm and comfortable. I wish we could have stayed like this forever and ever.   
  
"I caught you 'Lena. There ain't no way I'm letting you go."  
  
Caught.  
  
What a delicious feeling.   
  
I would rather be caught by him once, than married to Heero a million.   
  
"Duo. Don't lie to yourself. You love Heero, right? I'm not going to sic the World Nation on you two. It isn't my style to break up two lovers." Even though I certainly would want to rip Heero's eyes out at the moment or send every single rebel faction the little tidbit about where top preventer Heero Yuy lived, but that was beyond the point.   
  
"I said I DID love Heero."  
  
What.  
  
"I did. I still love him as a friend."  
  
"But.."  
  
"I love you like a mate."  
  
Just like Duo. If he had said anything other than that, I would not have believed him. Those crude, yet truthful words are sincerity itself. There is no flowery description. No pretty chocolates. No going down on the knees with a diamond.   
  
Just plain, sweet, Duo Maxwell.   
  
"Well, Mr. Maxwell. We are married right?"  
  
He blinks.   
  
He grins.  
  
"Yeah. And you're Mrs. Maxwell now."  
  
There is no more happiness than this.   
  
Absolutely no more.   
  
He maybe rude and uncouth.  
  
He may have nothing more than good friends and steady, but low-paying income.  
  
He may not be the pacifist diplomat everyone wants me to marry.   
  
He may not be the prince on a white horse I've dreamed of.  
  
But he is Duo Maxwell.  
  
And that's more than enough.   
  


~*~ FINIS ~*~  


  
Okay. I had the ending all planned-out, but due to the nagging ^_^ of some ML members, I'll have two versions that the story could have taken. One is totally angst and sad. The other is sappy and happy. Either one would work, so you can choose a story of angst if you're in the mood, or a story of cheer if you're in the mood for that.   
  
However, for some reason, the Relena part was THE hardest section to write about. I suppose I don't have enough Relena on my mind yet. *scolds self* Looks like another marathon of GW is in session. After all, it's been a while since I saw the show. *looks at watch* Oh, I think three days. Darn it. Too long. And it's affected my writing too. *pouts*  
  
Not too much to say on this part except: Flame me about Relena and I will do something horrible. Something so frightening that the flamer will shiver in their socks. Something like........ cutting off Duo's braid. *laughs maniacally*  
  
*cough* sorry. My muses seem to have gotten the best of me.   
  
Not that I would ever even come close to his braid with anything sharp. He's way too adorable that way.   
  
Hm. Interesting fic idea. Duo having his hair slashed off.   
  
*evil grin* Anyways, this is what's going to happen so far. I'll add the third-person two-version ending as soon as I have time to sit down to write them. It is FINALS week for all those that still attend the ever-so torturous high school. And these are important for the seniors especially. *grimaces* I really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really don't like math.   
  
Ja!  
  
Demeter  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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